Big news this week about 16-year-old Abby Sunderland, whose solo ’round-the-world trip was cut short the other day by a storm in the Indian Ocean. As she put it in her blog, “one long wave, and one short mast.” A French fishing vessel plucked her off her yacht this morning and headed back to civilization. The yacht is adrift and probably will sink. Too bad the boat is lost, but I’m happy that Abby is well.
I’m a bit surprised at the public reaction to this incident. A large number of people have expressed their shock and outrage at the parents for allowing their 16-year-old daughter to embark on such a voyage. “Sixteen is too young,” they say, “teenagers don’t have the same ability as adults to evaluate risk and do the right thing.” Then they go on to regurgitate the oft-reported statistics about teenagers and automobile accidents.
It is true, by the way, that teenagers are involved in a disproportionate number of auto accidents when compared to the rest of the population. And it’s pretty well known why: teenage drivers tend to understimate hazardous driving situations and are less able than older drivers to recognize potentially dangerous situations.
It’s not age, but experience that matters. When I was a teenager, I had a friend whose dad was a race car driver. Ron, too, raced cars on the track. He was an incredibly safe driver on the road. He knew better than most drivers–regardless of age–how to evaluate a situation and react accordingly. I also know drivers in their 40s and 50s who I will not ride with again, ever, because they have shown a shocking inability to anticipate other drivers’ actions and see a dangerous situation developing.
Abby Sunderland has been sailing with her family all her life. She’s reported to be an excellent sailor and over the years has proven her ability to handle a boat in all manner of situations. She’s likely a much better and more experienced sailor than most sailors twice her age. Her parents, by all reports, are responsible people who encourage their children to follow their dreams, but also make sure that the children are well prepared before attempting anything too wild.
I, for one, fully support parents who encourage their children to create and achieve far-reaching goals. In doing so, the children are learning perhaps the most important lesson that all too many parents fail to teach: the ability to take a dream from inception to completion. They learn to develop a plan, gain the knowledge and skill to accomplish their goal, and then do it. People talk about building self confidence in children, but too many parents balk when it comes to actually giving the kids the opportunity to rely on themselves.
I suspect that in the year or more since she started preparing for her trip, and especially in the six months she spent alone at sea in a 40-foot boat, Abby learned more about herself and how to achieve goals than most people learn in a lifetime. That she survived the storm that destroyed her boat–a storm that would likely have killed an inexperienced sailor–shows me that she was able to identify and react properly to the dangerous situation. A big wave broke the mast, true, but experienced sailors will tell you that such a thing can happen to anybody. 30-foot seas are a challenge for anybody in a small craft.
Kids don’t learn anything worthwhile if you coddle them. They learn by pushing their limits: often trying things that others view as dangerous. My friends who have achieved the most in life are those who did “dangerous” things as teenagers: bull riding, skydiving, auto racing, motorcycle racing, playing with old radios (think about the dangers of high voltage power transformers), etc. In almost all cases the parents were involved in making sure that the kids were prepared for whatever they were doing: guiding, not preventing.
Conversely, my friends who were coddled as teenagers and forbidden from doing “dangerous” things (other than driving–for reasons I can’t understand, parents let their kids drive even when the kids show a shocking lack of ability to manage risk) either had a very difficult time learning to take risk as they got older, or are now coddling themselves and their own kids and not accomplishing anything.
Why risk it? Because there is no advancement without risk. The key is managing the risk: building the knowledge and skill to identify and react to hazardous situations, but making plans to avoid those situations as much as possible. In the specific case of Abby Sunderland, she had the skill and knowledge, and as much as possible she avoided the risks. But, as she said, “you don’t sail through the Indian Ocean without getting in at least one storm.” It’s part of the journey. It’s just unfortunate that this particular storm wrecked her boat.
Congratulations, Abby, on your attempt. You didn’t make it around the world, but you accomplished a great deal in trying.
To Mr. and Mrs. Sunderland, thank you for allowing your daughter (and your son, last year) to show us what young people can accomplish given the opportunity, guidance, and encouragement. I hope that other parents will learn from your example.